Floridians Cut Loose, Literally
Floridians Cut Loose, Literally By Stenghis Khan In recent years, citizens of the United States have noticed an increase in suspicious activity coming from the state of Florida. Ranging from attempted robberies with staplers to the governor’s attempts to take control of Disney World, the happenings in Florida have been a cause for concern for […]
Kondo: Ask Me Almost Anything
Kondo: Ask Me Almost Anything By Muhammed Khan & Will Salzarulo If you aren’t living under a rock, you’ve probably heard of Kondo the dog. Nobody really knows where Kondo came from; it appears as if he just spawned in one day. I’m sure you have wondered at some point what goes on inside that […]
The Lemon’s Top 10 Video Game Idea
By: Muhammed Khan and Will Salzarulo Video Games are arguably the most immersive form of entertainment in the world right now. They allow you to transport to new worlds and do things you would have never imagined. Kids these days play games like RDR2, Fortnite, Call of Duty, etc. There are some games, however, that […]
Happy Holidays: Talawanda Tribune Headlines
Woman Divorces Husband over Whether or not ‘Die Hard’ Is a Christmas Movie Big Fat Man Arrested for Breaking in Entering and Stealing Cookies and Milk Joe Alwyn Gets T. Swift Stock in Ticketmaster for Christmas Parents Continue to Buy ‘Those Darn Phones’ for Little, Little Children Santa Refuses to Let Reindeer Stop for a […]
Terrifying Times: The E-Hallpass Era
Terrifying Times: The E-Hallpass Era By: Moonhamed Juan We’ve all heard of the not-so-popular e-hallpass. Although everyone has complained about them at some point, some sources suggest that your worries are only the tip of the iceberg. An insider from THS staff recently released some disturbing images of appointment passes that reveal secrets the administration […]
The Lemon’s Top 8 Scariest Halloween Costumes
By Muhammed “Zoinks” Khan & Will “Ruh-Roh” Salzarulo It is about that time of year when children and adults deem it necessary to dress up and scare one another in an attempt to satisfy their inner monster. In years past, however, we have noticed a terrifying lack of good costumes, much scarier than the […]
Seven Ways to Turn Down a HoCo Proposal
Seven Ways to Turn Down a HoCo Proposal By Muhammed Khan and Will Salzarulo Take their HoCo Proposal sign and walk up to it, rip it in half, then stomp up and down on it while yelling “Ew! Gross! No!” Use a big, red Sharpie to underline their grammar mistakes on their HoCo proposal sign […]
Anything but a Backpack
Oxford, OH–On Wednesday, August 31, 2022, the FCCLA is sponsoring a spirit week theme: Anything but a backpack. We at the Tribune have some ideas for you: Have a small child walk around carrying your stuff. Get a donkey, put your stuff on the donkey, and then pull it around school on a leash. According […]
“Great” Valentine’s Day
“Great” Valentine’s Day By Lover-Boy Logan Murray With Valentine’s Day right around the corner it’s time for couples to start panicking and single people to feel lonely. During this hectic time it’s important that everyone feels the love, so here are six suggestions for couples, and how to modify them for singles. 1: Grab some […]
Friendsgiving Tips
Friendsgiving Tips By STAFF F is for friends who stuff together like host a “Friendsgiving”! The Tribune staff has some tips to make your get together a rousing success. From potluck dish ideas to conversation topics, we have you covered. What to Bring to the Friendsgiving PotLuck You don’t have to be a great cook […]