Presidential Rumers

The presidential race is in full swing, and so are the rumors; vicious lies meant to attack the other party. These rumors, intended to tarnish the “bad guy’s” reputation, also have an unintentional effect of muddying the water of the already swampiest plitical murk.

To help you make the best choice in this coming presidential election, I have sorted the rumors from the truth. Here is the truth about the presidential race.

 

Mitt Romney

Romney has single handedly created 700 jobs for Americans by doubling the number of servants at his houses

The Romney family joined the Free Masons before it got trendy, That’s Mitt’s eye on the back of the dollar bill, he also owns that pyramid

In his early life Mitt Romney attended public school, but, finding the school too diverse and foul smelling, left for a private all-boy preparatory school

Mitt Romney drastically changed his plan for economic recovery after making the shocking discovery that not every American has a millionaire father and a Trust Fund

 

Obama

Obama was born in Alabama but is trying to keep that quite because it’s embarrassing

Obama’s parents originally considered naming him Barrack Adolf Obama

Obama recently told a close friend he wouldn’t vote for himself

Obama’s overly large ears are actually supersonic radar dishes. In fact Osama bin Laden was found after Obama intercepted a secret communication containing Osama’s location

 

Ron Paul

Remember the Alamo? Ron Paul does. Even in 1836, at the young age of 23 he was passionate about immigration

Secretly believes Obama is doing the best he can

Ron Paul once went shopping at Whole Foods

Ron Paul’s elder care plan is called “Me and My Peers” care plan

Ron Paul spent most of his childhood in an Iron Lung