Kondo: Ask Me Almost Anything

Added by The Lemon on March 21, 2023.
Saved under All Posts, Archives, Ask Me ALMOST Anything, Columns, The Lemon

Kondo: Ask Me Almost Anything

By Muhammed Khan & Will Salzarulo

If you aren’t living under a rock, you’ve probably heard of Kondo the dog. Nobody really knows where Kondo came from; it appears as if he just spawned in one day. I’m sure you have wondered at some point what goes on inside that seemingly empty head of his. Look no further, because we just asked Kondo 10 questions that revealed so much about the mysterious canine. His responses may or may not surprise you.

KondoAMAA

 

What is your favorite part of the school?  I really like the secret tunnel I’ve been digging for the past year. 

If you could have lunch with 5 people (or dogs) who would you have?  This is a great question! I have been contemplating this very issue for several years now and believe I have perfected my answer.

 

  1. Stan (from Dog With A Blog)
  2. Kujo
  3. Tom York (the former Principal, not the singer)
  4. Sir Barks A Lot
  5. Socrates 

 

What is your favorite thing to eat? My favorite food is definitely a Wagyu steak medium rare with truffles on top. Behind every meal is a wonderful drink, so I would have to add some one thousand-year-aged water!

 

 

Who is your favorite student that you’ve met?  Children. Very fascinating creatures indeed.

 

 

Who is your least favorite person that is at THS? Feel free to name a student. Without a doubt, Andrew David Rothchild Averbach.

 

 

If you had to teach any class, which one would you teach?  I have spent many a year studying philosophy, so that would be my top choice. I also dabble in Calculus, so there’s always that.

 

 

Who do you think the next mascot for Talawanda should be?  In my humble opinion, I believe that I, Kondo Scott York Dog I, should become the next mascot for the Talawanda School District. Frankly, I don’t believe there has even been a creature quite like me.

 

 

If you did not work at Talawanda, where would you work?  I would likely be a professor of philosophy at the University of Oxford. I was offered a position there but ultimately decided to work here due to my love for corn.

 

 

Who is your favorite musician?  Beethoven, no doubt. I would play some for you, but I forgot where I buried my piano.

 

 

If you could have any superpower, what would it be?  Omniscience. I want to know everything there is to know about the universe.