Schmid: Ask Me Almost Anything
Schmid: Ask Me Almost Anything
Article by Tribune Staff, Photo by Derek Manukian
1) Do you ever go home? Like from school, not to the place you were born.
There are motion detectors at the school, so that makes sleeping difficult as I like to sleep in the dark. Therefore, I do go somewhere else for the sleepin’.
2) What is up with your rivalry with Mr. Marston?
I am a huge fan of Mr. Marston. His name has a planet in it! The hatred is all from his end. Maybe if my name was Mr. Neptunemid, he’d like me.
3) What are your opinions on Kondo the Dog? Be honest.
KONDO GOT A BIRTHDAY PARTY WHERE PEOPLE WROTE HIM CARDS WITH WORDS. This was when he was two years old. Two year olds can’t read. Also, Kondo doesn’t really look like he wants to be at school. Even in faculty meetings Kondo doesn’t participate. Once we were supposed to put sticky notes on the wall. Kondo refused to do it. Just layed there.
4) Who would win a battle of wits, you or Mr. Pasquale?
While Mr. Pasquale is a better athlete than me and did earn a 5.9 GPA in high school, I think I have a chance in a battle of wits. If the battle of wits were the following, I’d win:
- Guessing popsicle joke answers
- Rock/Paper/Scissors
- 1980’s TV Theme song trivia
5) What is the actual last movie you saw, how long ago was it, and what would you rate it out of 5?
Gramps Goes to College was the last movie I saw. The last movie I saw in the theater was 42 (The Jackie Robinson story). I give 42 a 4.2 out of 5. I’ll give Gramps Goes to College a 0.5 out of five. As a parody, I’ll give it a 4.5 out of 5. I also like that the title explains the movie. Hopefully, in a few weeks Terrifier 3 will replace Gramps Goes to College.
6) Who is your actual favorite student, wrong answers only.
The obvious choice is P—– ———r, he is a hundo out of hundo for sure.
7) You could have been a theoretical physicist. You could have been a professional trombonist. You could have been on Jeopardy (and still can), but you chose to teach high school science in Southwest Ohio. Why????
If I were a theoretical physicist, I could only talk about my work with like 113 people. If I were a professional trombonist, I’d be pretty bad so I’d be in a bad orchestra. According to the internet, South Sudan is the worst place to live, so I’d be in the South Sudan orchestra. I don’t want to live there. So I guess all that is left is being a high school teacher in SW Ohio.
8) Christmas: Lyric. Bothersome. Enjoy.
Lyric: I don’t want some things for Christmas but there are some things I want. And I…. (I know that is not the lyric but that is how I sing “All I want for Christmas is You”.
Bothersome: Christmas celebrating starts too early. If you spend two months or ⅙ of the year in Christmas season it isn’t special. Two weeks is correct.
Enjoy: Seeing the family. Every year they remind me about dropping the broccoli casserole when I was 12.
9) Do you have a smartphone yet?
Yes, I had to get rid of the flip phone when it kept catching on fire. I got a “smartphone” last summer. It is so disappointing. It makes my life worse. I don’t get lost while driving anymore.
I miss that.
10) Can you do a cartwheel? If so, can we have proof? If not, can you try and give us proof? (Remember, you cannot say two “nos” in a row in this interview according to Tribune co-editor Thomas Harper).
I have never tried to do a cartwheel in my life. I think much like my hero Creed Bratton, that will be my New Year’s resolution. While I’d love to give you evidence of a failed cartwheel, my lack of smartphone skills prevent it.
