Anything but a Backpack

Oxford, OH–On Wednesday, August 31, 2022, the FCCLA is sponsoring a spirit week theme:  Anything but a backpack.  We at the Tribune have some ideas for you:

  1.  Have a small child walk around carrying your stuff.
  2.  Get a donkey, put your stuff on the donkey, and then pull it around school on a leash.  According to Dr. Peter Anthony Salzarulo, Professor of Supply Chain Management, donkeys carry more than mules because they’re larger than mules.
  3.   A kayak.  Transportation and a bag! 
  4.   A baby stroller.  Watch as everyone stares in horror when you push it down the stairs.
  5.   A pinata.  When any of your classmates ask you for a piece of gum, you destroy the pinata and they get fresh breath.
  6.   A pet carrier and be sure to keep your homework in it so your dog has a snack.
  7.   A fanny pack because all you really need for school is your phone and chapstick.
  8.   30,000 individual leaf cutter ants.  According Google they can carry up to 16 pounds.

Thursday is “Hawaiian Day” and Friday is “Don’t Wake Up Until After Noon Day.”