04/17/2012 – Crashes, Government “Brilliance” with Philips, and News in Haikus

Editor’s Note: The Blip includes short headlines with odd, feel-good, informational, or pointless material. Stories are presented in a fast, easy-to-read format with news that will make you laugh and be enlightened. The Blip is updated daily.

Dumb crashes

Click the location for the original story.

Omaha, Nebraska – A man, trying to save his pizza from falling off his car’s dashboard ran into a pole.

Palestine, Texas – Drunk driver crashes into a Life Flight Helicopter, there because of another drunk crash, then asks why it was flying so low.

DeLand, Florida – Drunk man crashes into gates of a county jail, then sideswipes deputy.

 

“Let there be United States Government approved light!”

If you have sixty dollars in your pocket, begging to be spent…

…then buy a light bulb! The world’s most energy efficient light bulb comes from Philips and is said to last twenty years. It illuminates with a “natural-looking” light, and is a safe alternative to those incandescent bulbs Obama has banned. The only problem is its hefty price tag: $60.

The United States Congress devised the “L Prize Contest” in 2007, hoping to get companies to devise new light bulbs to comply with their new regulations on how the free people of the country are allowed to light their own homes. Only Philips entered the contest, and thus won the ten million dollar prize (How can the United States possibly be three trillion dollars in debt?). Unfortunately, the contest required a $22 sale price, and Philips is scrambling to create discounting deals with retailers and energy companies.

Read more here: http://finance.yahoo.com/news/rebates-cut-price-60-led-222118250.html

 

News in Haikus

The following poems are called haikus, but these are special. They contain current news stories—all summarized in three lines. Click on each one for more information.

Secret Service acts
Condemning prostitution
Scandal yesterday

Indiana seems
A terrible location
For business newbies

Rattlesnake was killed
By lethal blow from golf club
After biting man

Joseph DeVaughn asks
Fourteen and a half questions
With Mister Mattox

Crystal football worth
Thirty thousand dollars gets
Shattered. What a shame.

All five haikus are written by Joseph L.A. Hall and may be copied for any purpose, provided you give the author credit.

UPDATE: April 17th is National Haiku Poetry Day! In celebration, here are more haiku poems for you! Feel free to post your own in the comments section below!

April Seventeenth
A day of celebration
Something for all, yo

Contestants on the
Biggest Loser walk off show
After twist in game

Genius man pulls off
Pencil sharpening business
And writes book on it

Don’t forget to add your own haikus below! Happy National Haiku Day!