04/05/2012 – Irony, Holidays, and News in Haikus

Editor’s Note: The Blip includes short headlines with odd, feel-good, informational, or pointless material. Stories are presented in a fast, easy-to-read format with news that will make you laugh and be enlightened. The Blip is updated daily.

Retired Sheriff detained in his own prison

Former Arapahoe County Sheriff Patrick Sullivan Jr. woke up inside the Patrick J. Sullivan Jr. Detention Facility yesterday. He was arrested for agreeing to provide methamphetamine for sexual intercourse with two men in Aurora, Colorado. Deputy Attorney General Michael Dougherty described Sullivan as “a disgrace to the badge.”

“He was treated like any other inmate,” said County Sheriff Grayson Robinson. “He didn’t receive any preferential treatment.”

The judge called it a fall from grace, as Sullivan was a man with many accomplishments. He was named 2001 Sheriff of the Year, served eighteen years for his County as top lawman, and even served on Bill Clinton’s National Commission on Crime Prevention in the year of 1995.

Sullivan stated, “I want to move forward in my life in a positive direction.”

Read more here: http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/30834190/detail.html

 

Other April Holidays

April is a month dominated by Easter, Passover, and April Fools’ Day. But if three holidays aren’t enough for you, here’s a few more to celebrate.

TODAY (Apr. 5) – It’s Read a Road Map Day! That’s right, it’s time to bust out the ol’ Rand McNally and peruse the bustling highway system. With GPS on the rise, it’s nice to step back and admire the original road map, for a wave of nostalgia. This day will remind you why you fell in love with road maps in the first place!

April 7 – This is (of course) International Pillow Fight Day! It actually occurs the first Saturday of every April, but that happens to be the seventh this year. And if you read carefully, you noticed the prefix inter- in front of the word national. That means you will be celebrating with pillow fight enthusiasts from around the world! Take that pillow and beat the snot out of everyone!

April 20 – Have you ever wondered why lima beans don’t get the respect they deserve? That’s because no one advocates Lima Bean Respect Day! Grab a can or two from Kroger and fill your plate! Chow down on the tasty beans and reap the nutritional benefits!

April 26 – When was the last time you hugged an Australian? Not courageous enough to go up and hug one? Well Hug an Australian Day gives you a great excuse to start! Find a brother from down under and give him a squeeze!

Believe it or not, there are more April holidays. Find out about all of them at http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/122276.

 

News in Haikus

The following poems are called haikus, but these are special. They contain current news stories—all summarized in three lines. Click on each one for more information.

Google develops
Futuristic smartphone, but—
They’re really glasses

A bathtub, it seems
Is excellent protection
From huge Acts of God

Autistic children
Interact effectively
With Apple® products

All three haikus are written by Joseph L.A. Hall and may be copied for any purpose, provided you give the author credit.