How to Bake a Perfect Graduation Cake
What’s the perfect sugary centerpiece for your graduation party gastrointestinal cornucopia? Why, a graduation cake, of course! This from-scratch all-natural recipe for “Lemon Chiffon Flavorexplosion Doublerainbow Beautymelt Ice-Cream Cake Miracle” was our Editors’ favourite: Serves: Ten Bake Time: 30 minutes Ingredients: Generic Chocolate Cake Mix (4 lbs.) Red #456 (14oz.) Fluorocarbon Isooctane (3 [...]
The Essential Zombie Survival Plan – Movie Edition
Zombies: Man-eating harbingers of doom, which would surely erase humanity from our peacefully orbiting planet. These brain dead monstrosities have become an American fixation, teenagers (mainly boys) layout and compare their survival plans, producers rake in profits from the latest zombie blockbuster, zombie apocalypse survival classes are now available at Michigan State University and ACE Hardware recently [...]
Bryce Harper to Retire from MLB
Bryce Harper, the crown and jewel of the Washington Nationals, has decided to hang up his cleats after a tumultuous three week long tenure in professional baseball. Harper, 19, made the announcement at a press conference held at his new condo at an assisted living facility in Chevy Chase, Maryland on May 16th. “The time [...]
10 Guidelines to Getting Through the School Year
As the 2011-2012 school year comes to an end, there’s many different ways of coping. Studying, cramming in assignments, senioritis, slacking, you name it. Here are some helpful tips on getting to the end of the year. 1. A healthy breakfast is key. Peanut brittle and tacos are a sure start to the day. 2. [...]
News in Brief
News in Brief School plans to take Junior’s to Zoo “just in case’ Body of missing man found gambling in Las Vegas Honey badger takes what it wants, which apparently is chocolate ice cream Eight year old comes home from summer camp to find his worst fears have been confirmed, his parents moved while he [...]
Presidential Rumers
The presidential race is in full swing, and so are the rumors; vicious lies meant to attack the other party. These rumors, intended to tarnish the “bad guy’s” reputation, also have an unintentional effect of muddying the water of the already swampiest plitical murk. To help you make the best choice in this coming presidential [...]
Summaries For The Rest Of Us
High school students around the world have gone through the pain of having to read through the great works of literature accepted as “wonderful,” and “must-reads” by teachers and over-zealous parents. Many times students, bogged down with other course work and simply having a lack of interest in the book, consult a number of references [...]
Worst Celebrity Baby Names
Jay-Z and Beyonce recently had a baby, which they decided to name Blue Ivy Carter. This is not the first time celebrities have given their children unusual names. We’ve compiled a list of particularly weird celebrity baby names. Parent: Nicolas Cage Child: Kal-El Parent: Jason Lee Child: Pilot Inspektor Parents: Gwyneth Paltrow [...]
The Prom Fashion Guide (For Men)
Ah, prom season. The time of year when boys and girls pair themselves together for a night either sheer wonder or disappointment. But how should a male look on this night? Well, men, you’re in luck! We have the answers to all of your questions right here. One: The first step to a magical evening [...]
How to Seem Impressive on Facebook
Facebook is a modern social phenomenon that the majority of teens and young adults use and rely heavily on for communication needs. Most Facebook users have at least 500 friends or over added to their profiles; broadcasting their lives to a large network of individuals. But how does one go about making them seem rather [...]
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